I’m a one handbag kind of girl. I just need the one to get me through a season or two, but I need it to fulfill what I thought were some pretty simple requirements. When going about life on public transportation and occasionally walking the commute home, one quickly learns what she needs in her impedimenta.

I don’t like shopping, but I have paid some President’s Circle-level dues in search of this handbag. It would seem I am looking for the Higgs boson of handbags.

Dear Retailers, Designers, and Earnest Shop Girls,

Thank you, but No, regrettably I did not find what I was looking for today. And I am emphatically NOT “just browsing.” I am DONE browsing. I’m on a mission and I don’t see why we can’t get the job done, you and me. I simply seek a medium-sized, satchel-style purse made of decent, matte black leather with a ~9” drop.  

I actually have some stuff to transport in it, so it mustn’t be heavy as a toddler when empty. And the inside must not be solid black fabric, or have other cavernous qualities, because I cannot lose any more of my life to fishing around for keys in a Black Hole. Metal accents should be absent to minimal: if I want to glam it up I’ll look to my jewelry drawer.

I am sure you have good reason to be proud of your brand, but I kindly decline the opportunity to be your walking advertisement: No shiny nameplates or embossed do-dads or other visible branding, please. Make a thoughtful, well-crafted handbag with clean, sophisticated lines, and people will ask me where I got it. (I know, because I’ve done so myself.) That’ll be your reward.

I was prepared to plonk down a high-end T.J. Maxx payment for this handbag, but my sister the Fashion Plate says it is time to branch out and up the price point. The Fashion Plate has spent a few pennies on (admittedly lovely) handbags, so I’ll take her word for it.

Deliver the goods, and my bank account promises to settle up with nary a grumble.


Lynne Blaszak